Transition

In October 2008 I was on a plane to the Pacific Northwest. A few days later I decided to drive back to Southern California. That road trip was both cathartic and cleansing. I had had one heck of a week and the one thing that hadn't changed, was that he was still a good dad.

I was writing my Masters Thesis, searching for employment and couch-surfing. I got really good at the latter two. I did both for about 361 days. I had no address, no income and no idea what I was going to do. As you can imagine, the story I had fallen in love with was banished to the confines of my journal and my desire to write it waned. Maslow's hierarchy was in full force.

2009 came so quickly that I felt it fast-forwarded straight to Fall. I had relocated to San Diego, moved into a new place and begun examining the contents of numerous boxes.

The journal from that trip found it's way to the coffee table. I re-read my entries and re-examined the concept. It took a few days of contemplating, but I realized that the original story was the embryo. He had simply been the seed and I was the incubator. This story line was a fetus and I, it's lifeline.

I allowed the tale to develop over the first trimester into a broader description of fatherly love. By the time my baby bump was showing, I had realized that the greater story to tell wasn't just of him, but of all the great fathers that I knew. I have been blessed to see wonderful examples of fatherly love through my family and friends.

In it's second trimester, a wider look at more diverse fathers was introduced. The love of one father was foremost in the defining of the bond with his child and his commitment to her. I used the names and likeness of numerous prominent friends in my life and my most admired family members as subjects.

The third trimester sent me gaining permission from those subjects, fine tuning the story and coming to the realization that gestation was nearly complete. As with any expectant mother, the nerves set-in.....and the thought that I didn't know what I was doing. I had to stop the water from breaking.